I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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