Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Randomize
