I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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