yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i think im in europe. pls send help
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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