Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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