I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
