is your mom at the bar?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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