Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
