the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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