I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
