Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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