Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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