That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
