Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
