did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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