I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
