don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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