did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
