your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
