I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
