My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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