I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
