I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize