I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
