lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
