Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Randomize
