how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ketchup is God's man juice
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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