I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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