we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
