I want to make a zoo with you.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
