you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize