YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
