I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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