I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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