well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it hurts more in the daytime
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
