just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
