i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
