there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
no you cant smoke seaweed
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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