I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
