Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
