Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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