what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
