do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You ruined the universe
Randomize
