Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
