Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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