I showed him my bush... on skype.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
