Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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