Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
