did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
