I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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