if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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