no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize