I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
