After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
