Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
