Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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