3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
