why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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